The Good, The Bad, and The Guard Puller: A Roast on Jiu-Jitsu's Lazy Move, with a Skateboarding Twist

Posted by SSBJJ

The Good, The Bad, and The Guard Puller: A Roast on Jiu-Jitsu's Lazy Move, with a Skateboarding Twist


 

Welcome to the wild, wild world of Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu (BJJ), where not all warriors fight on their feet! In this world, some folks roll in style—executing takedowns, hunting submissions, and living life on the edge like Clint Eastwood. Others? Well, they scoot their way to victory with a questionable technique, known as guard pulling. This art form (if we dare call it that) is the subject of our hilarious new wall art titled "The Good, The Bad, and The Guard Puller."

Just like the cult-classic movie The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly, the world of martial arts has its heroes, villains, and—let's be real—its lazy practitioners. Whether you're a fan of Clint Eastwood's stone-cold stare or you love to catch a sick grind on your skateboard, there’s no denying the raw charisma of the “man with no name.” But guess what? In Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, not all moves are as iconic as a tumbleweed-drenched standoff at high noon. Some of them, like the infamous guard pull, are...well...ugly.

What is Guard Pulling, Anyway?

For those not familiar, pulling guard in BJJ is when a grappler voluntarily sits or lays down on their back to start the fight from the ground. Yeah, you read that right. While most fighters are out there looking for the perfect takedown, these "guard pullers" would rather scoot on their butts like your grandma’s dog chasing a phantom itch. Guard pulling may have its place in certain situations, but let’s be honest—it’s the lazy man's answer to a stand-up fight. It’s like saying, “Nah, I’ll just chill here on the mat while you stand there all tall and intimidating.”

And let’s be clear—it’s not the “Eastwood way.” Can you imagine Clint Eastwood pulling guard against Lee Van Cleef in The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly? Heck no! Clint would shoot a steely-eyed look, stand his ground, and draw faster than you can say "jiu-jitsu." Pulling guard? That's not for the gunslingers of the BJJ world.

The Three Characters: A Jiu-Jitsu Twist

Here’s where we bring the iconic trio from The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly into the fold. The title of our high-end, three-skateboard wall art, "The Good, The Bad, and The Guard Puller," pokes fun at this lazy Jiu-Jitsu tactic. Each character represents a certain flavor in the BJJ universe, especially for those who cross-train with skateboarding or surfing:

  1. The Good – This is the stand-up, old-school BJJ practitioner. Just like Eastwood’s character, The Good shows up, face calm, ready to engage with precision and honor. They believe in takedowns, control, and timing. A tactical guard pass is their forte. They live life on the edge, shredding on a skateboard or surfboard with the same ease that they dominate on the mats.

  2. The Bad – The Bad is the brutal and cunning fighter. Think Lee Van Cleef’s Angel Eyes. They're the type who will use aggressive submissions, grind you down, and always look for the kill. In skateboarding terms, they’re the ones going for those insane tricks, risking broken bones but landing those sick moves like a pro.

  3. The Guard Puller (The Ugly) – Here’s where the joke really lands. The Guard Puller represents the grappler who skips all the fun of the stand-up game, chooses to scoot, and settle for the ugliest way to start a match. They might win under some rule sets, but it’s a hard-to-watch, sometimes laughable, approach. Imagine Clint Eastwood pulling guard—it’s absurd, and that’s why this character in our three-skateboard art piece gets the short end of the stick.

What Does This Have to Do With Skateboarding?

Good question! Just like in BJJ, skateboarding requires commitment, resilience, and skill. No one gets points for sitting down at the top of a ramp and sliding their way down. They get credit for flying off the lip of a half pipe, taking risks, and maybe even eating pavement a few times. It’s all about the thrill, the flow, and the risk.

Guard pullers, on the other hand, are the ones avoiding the grind. They don’t want to face the risk of a takedown, just like how a skater might avoid a challenging rail. Sure, it’s technically effective sometimes—but is it the good way? Nope. Pulling guard in BJJ is the lazy option, and in this metaphorical skatepark of martial arts, we can’t help but laugh at the absurdity.

A Roasting Homage to the Ass-Scooter

While this wall art might make fun of guard pullers, it’s all in good fun. The Good, The Bad, and The Guard Puller is meant to be a light-hearted jab at one of BJJ’s most controversial techniques. We respect every fighter’s choice, but come on—if you’re going to sit on your butt like you’re waiting for a bus, you deserve a little roasting.

SSBJJ: A Brand for the Mavericks

At SSBJJ, we’re all about blending passions. Whether you’re surfing, skating, or rolling on the mats, our high-end products cater to all passionate, active individuals who live and breathe the adrenaline lifestyle. Our skateboards are more than just decks—they’re pieces of art that combine the rugged beauty of old-school Westerns with the raw energy of BJJ, skating, and surfing. And let’s be honest, they make a killer addition to any wall.

So, the next time you catch yourself scooting on the mats, think of The Guard Puller and ask yourself: "Am I the Clint Eastwood of the mats, or am I just scooting my way to the finish line?" Choose wisely. And if you pull guard? Well, we’ll still sell you some awesome wall art to remind you of your sins.

The Final Word

Whether you’re pulling guard, hitting a sick ollie, or riding the perfect wave, make sure you do it with style—and a sense of humor. Because at the end of the day, life’s too short not to laugh at the ugly parts, whether they happen on the mats or in your favorite spaghetti western.




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